A transgender father has decided not to reveal the sex of his child so that they can reveal their gender as they grow up.
20-year-old Sav Butler from Portland became transgender at the age of 18 after growing up struggling with gender identity.
Sav now prefers to use the sexless parenting style with his two children to avoid “supposed” sex that may not match their personality.
Sav hopes that this will help children find their true identity.
Savi’s eldest child, three-year-old Wesley, has already announced that he is a boy, and S explains that their newborn child, Eden, will tell them their gender at the age of three.
“I raised my two children without sex until they could tell me what their sex was,” says Sav.
“I do not raise them in pairs, because it is a gender identity, the whole point is not to give them a gender identity.
“I do not want them to be called what they do not have, the memories are finally bad, I just want them to know that they are accepted.
“It will also make them understand more about different identities, help them find themselves faster.”
“I did not tell anyone the supposed sex of my two children, because it is not their business. It’s just my job as a napkin changer, his doctor.
“By the age of three, they talk, they can understand, they can tell you their sexual identity, so that they can finally tell themselves to people.”
Sav is passionate about raising awareness of the difference between the sexes, explaining that while newborns have a biological sex, they do not immediately have a gender identity.
Over the years, she has received negative feedback from others about her parenting choices. But Sav criticizes it as “hypocritical”, noting that most parents impose “presumed” sex on their children at birth based on their biological sex.
“Gender is not equal to sex, և I get nervous because people ask what the sex of the child is, but the children do not have a sexual identity yet. “They only know about poisoning, urinating, eating and sleeping,” he continues.
“It’s about what is in their diaper, not the right terminology. When I refuse to answer what the “gender” of the child is, people are usually confused or angry.
“They say it’s not my decision for the baby, which is obviously hypocritical, because babies accept their gender every day from birth.”
Being a parent without sex essentially means that Sav will go for “men’s”, “women’s clothing”, toys, և uses both himself and pronouns until the children are mature enough to express themselves.
“Before they tell me their gender identity, I dress my two children in both men’s and women’s clothing,” she says.
“In this way, they can look back at children’s photos that are appropriate for their gender, they do not feel uncomfortable.
“I also use ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ pronouns so that they can see how everyone feels and how they like it when they are called.”
“Even when they have expressed their gender identity, I allow them to wear, play with the clothes and toys they want.
“I would be perfectly fine, regardless of whether they are gay, trans, male, female or not. I’m not interested in that; I love them no matter what. “
Sav says that his journey as a trans person influenced his parents’ upbringing. He asks the children to call him “mapa”, րել feeding the child to Eden means “breastfeeding”.
“My journey as a trans person definitely has to do with my parents,” he continues.
“I do not want my children to look back on their childhood, to feel pain, which many trans people have felt, they can understand.
“I left after I moved at the age of 18, but at the age of five I knew I was trans because I did not feel comfortable in my body.
“I shortened my name, I started hormone therapy, I’m going to go back to hormones now that I’ve given birth.
“Children understand themselves better than we thank them. At the age of three, they have a gender identity, they can express themselves.
“My three-year-old probably knows more about sex than adults. I use books to explain it to them. It does not have to work for everyone, but it does work for our family. ”
For support, advice և resources you can visit LGBTQ + Charity Mermaids here:.